I just sent over the last of 11 songs for my next Kathryn the Grape album. Pressing send on “I Feel Good About Myself” felt good. It’s the title track lyrical story that glues everything together and reveals how deliberate my creative journey has been for the past decade, piece by piece to complete the big picture vision cast upon me years ago.
I use the puzzle metaphor in one of my Kathryn the Grape books and here because that’s what this entire process has felt like for me. I’ve been piecing together a puzzle. For anyone who has ever taken the time to put together a big puzzle, you know it starts with seeing the end vision first, and then sorting through each individual piece to figure out how to connect them one by one. We need to be patient and allow ourselves time to do so because puzzles aren’t for hasty. There’s no get rich quick infomercials for puzzlers. No one can “coach” us into actually finishing. We can be encouraged, but the doing part is our choice and our choice alone.
Sometimes puzzling warrants pausing to regain perspective. Sometimes the outer frame is shaped with ease, mainly because the edges are clear. But it’s often the interior sections that are challenging and seemingly random. But to a visionary, the holder of the puzzle’s big picture, nothing is random. Piece by piece, section by section, it eventually is clear. It’s done. Pieced into one. Whole.
Looking back, some of my lessons — my pieces — were more painful to put into place than others, but I needed those pieces, each and every one of them, because they made me whole. Piece by piece I have become whole. I’m stronger and braver. I’m more compassionate, truthful, loving, introspective, aware and forgiving. More natural. And the center piece — I am more vulnerable. Revealing my heart and my truth at times is crazy scary, but it’s far less scary than having to face the complacency of never knowing what could be on the other side of revealing the real, whole me.
I am the puzzle. You are the puzzle. We are the puzzle. Piece by piece. We are whole.