This week has been epic for me artistically. I handed off three books to begin the final stages for publishing and I sent off 33 new songs to my music producer for us to get started on scratch tracks this Friday — 22 “Kathryn Cloward” songs and 11 “Kathryn the Grape” songs. But, I couldn’t do any of this without journeying the intentional path of healing and self-love that I have been on for the last seven years. I couldn’t be living this dream and living in the flow without my beloved grandma fluttering close by.
This is a photo of me and my late grandma, Margarette Bush. She passed away when I was 14. I was with her when she passed. Being present in the hospital room as she took her last breathe was a really significant moment in my life, and I seldom talked about it until a few years ago. The experience of holding her hand when she passed away is the inspiration for my song, “I Will Be Going.”
My grandma is also the magical butterfly named “Maggie” in my Kathryn the Grape Affirmation Series of book and music. Illustrated Maggie was created from this photo.
Maggie is a butterfly in my stories because when my son was a toddler I kept hearing him talking and laughing in his room when he was alone—when he was supposed to be napping. I asked him about who he was talking with in his room, he was very matter of fact as he told me that he was talking with “the butterfly.” Then through the miraculous synchronicity of the Universe, the very next day I came to know the butterfly was my grandma, a guiding Angel of love. That was the day I met my dear friend and healer, Jennie Lapointe.
Everything that has emerged since that revealing day in April 2009 has helped shift my life into a more loving, healing, and fulfilling expression of my true self. While I still have my challenges, I move through them differently now. I fully accept and acknowledge that I am a work in progress, and my awareness of learning lessons through personal growth helps me elevate and purify my energy.
Thankfully part of my growth includes no longer being timid about honoring and acknowledging the loving Divine energy that guides me everyday, and helps me be a clear conduit to receive and create.
Yet this growth has included a departure from the way I was brought up. I was raised in a faith system that molded believers to trust leadership (male-only leaders) as the foremost clear conduits of God’s messages. That never felt quite right to me. But for many years I was aligned with that belief because it’s all I knew and anything outside of that familiar formula felt scary.
Yet, soon after my son was born everything change within me. The old familiar ways weren’t working for me any longer. In time I started allowing myself the freedom to ask questions and seek wisdom from a wellspring of Divine love sources. I allowed feel-good feelings to guide me into experiencing the awesome freedom of eventually removing all imprinted beliefs that didn’t served me anymore.
I awakened to feeling grounded in God’s unconditional love — Divine Universal love that’s the common thread connecting all communities, all people, all energies. The abundance of inclusive and flowing unconditional love not only felt right to me in every way, it was revealed to me and through me time and again through synchronistic confirmations. This knowing empowered me with purpose and helped me feel grounded and aligned with God in a beautifully whole way.
It was through this process that my Grandma’s Angelic guidance flooded in and fluttered close, becoming a constant source of unconditional love for me and my son. Magical.
Our Angels, often manifested through nature signs like butterflies, are always with us fluttering close by loving us and guiding us. Everything I do is deeply rooted in this knowing as the past seven years of my journey have revealed and confirmed this truth to me consistently and clearly.
Angels are among us, always.
We are connected. We are love. Yes, that means all of us.