I took this photo on May 4th early in the morning as I sat with my Dad in the ICU. I had spent the night with him and this is what we did together in those moments of “silence” as hospital machines beeped and buzzed. We held hands.
I went home that night and returned the next day and celebrated my birthday with my entire family at the hospital. While it was bittersweet, it will be a birthday I will always remember because we were all together. I stayed in the hospital with Dad that night and again the following night, and I was with him until he took his last breath at 4:44am on May 7th.
One of my brothers framed this photo and gave it to me as a gift and it sits on my bedside nightstand. This framed photo was the inspiration that led me early one morning to write a song about my relationship with my Dad titled, “I Held His Hand.”
Today, we are going into the studio to record “I Held His Hand.”
While I had no idea weeks ago why I felt the energy surge to record this song sooner than later, I knew I felt a need to do it now and I trusted that feeling. If there is one thing I’ve learned on my journey the past eights years, trusting my intuition, even when I can’t see where the path ahead leads, is the list topper.
Thankfully, it has become apparent to me what I am meant to do with this song in honor of my Dad and in honor of all dads. Through this song and some other intentional work I will be doing in the near future, I aim to shine a light on the love between dads and their children. I hope that down the line this song helps heal and inspire others, and creates a positive ripple effect of love, compassion, and justice for all dads.
But for today, the focus is on my Dad. While he had his flaws (like we all do!!), my Dad was a man who cared deeply about healing himself and helping others do the same. Jack Cloward was purposeful in his pursuit to be the best man he could be. It was an honor to be his only daughter.
I trust that love will lead the way. It always does.